Weeping With Those Who Weep

Three weeks ago, I gave a harp lesson to a local student of mine one Friday afternoon. Before her lesson, her Mom shared with me that they had a difficult week at home. Her mom wouldn’t have needed to share that with me; I could see it in her daughter’s face during her lesson.

The lesson in her harp book was a harder one, but I sensed a disconnect during the lesson. I could tell that she was thinking about something else. Her spirit seemed crushed and broken. 

I tried to make the lesson as enjoyable as I could. By the end of her lesson, I sensed a desire in her to share something with me. She put her small harp back inside its case, and then, sure enough, she began to share. As she shared, the tears came. 

This young lady is 16 years old. She lost her Dad due to cancer when she was 7 years old. She was grieving the loss of her father. She shared: 

“My Dad's birthday is coming up in November.” 

And then her tears came forth in a flood, privately, in the room we had our harp lesson in. I listened to her share many details about the pain in her life, including the loss of her Dad, for around 20-30 min. (her mom probably thought I decided to give her daughter an hour lesson that day instead of a half hour lesson) I cried with her and offered her a hug. When I did that, she wept on my shoulder. My dress was wet from her tears. 

It hurt me to hear what this young lady has had to walk through in her young life, so much more than just the loss of her Dad. She sees her younger sister hurting too and carries that pain also. Being a firstborn like her, I could relate. Her pain is something that no 16 year old should have to walk through in my mind. And yet, because she desires to walk with God, God has given her strength. 

Before we left the room, I briefly encouraged her with a few things. With God’s help, I tried to just listen to her as she shared her hurting heart. I assured her that I would pray for her and not share any specific details with anyone else that she shared so openly with me. (her Dad’s death is common knowledge.)

I carried that young lady close to my heart all weekend, and I lifted her up in prayer to God. I wished there was more I could do, but all I could do was listen and pray.

I read a quote that weekend that said: 

“If you cannot understand why someone is grieving for so long, consider yourself fortunate that you do not understand.”

The quote made me think about my student. Most people (myself included) have no idea what it is like to lose their Dad at such a young age. (and all the ramifications of that) 

My harp student didn’t need a sermon from me that day about what she should or should not do. If I would have corrected her instead of listening to her, she probably would have shut down immediately and would have never wanted to share with me again. 

My student needed a listening ear. She needed a shoulder to cry on. She needed someone to weep with her to help her bear her heavy burden. 

That made me think about these verses:  

“Bear ye one another’s burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”

Galatians 6:2 

~

“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” 

Romans 12:15 

I see the first part of the verse in Romans lived out often, but I rarely see Christians weep with others when they are weeping. 

Thinking about this made me realize how much healing could be brought to the body of Christ by simply “weeping with those who weep.” 

This made me think about the story of Jesus just before he raised Lazarus to life. Jesus knew He was going to raise Lazarus back to life, but before He did that, the Bible says that “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35) 

Why would Jesus cry if He knew He was going to raise Lazarus back to life? 

Jesus identified with others in their grief. He cried with them. 

Isn’t that precious? We have a God who weeps with us in our grief and sorrow.

As Christians, when we weep with others in their grief and sorrow, I believe we display God to a broken and hurting world. 

The Thing On My Head

If you met me in person, you would notice that I wear something on my head. I usually wear a black scarf over my long, brown hair that I wear up. This is a belief of mine from the Bible. I wear it for no other reason than that.

When I worked at a local grocery store, customers would frequently ask me: 

“May I ask you a question?”

“Certainly.”

“What is that thing on your head?”

“You mean my scarf?”

“Yeah.”

My usual reply was: 

“I wear this on my head because the Bible teaches in 1 Corinthians 11 that women are to cover their head to show their place in God’s created headship order.”

The usual response I got was something like: 

“Oh, yeah, the Bible does say that.” 

Hearing that always kind of surprised me because the people asking me were obviously somewhat familiar with that passage of Scripture.

Others would say to me: 

“Oh, wow, I didn't know that. I’ll have to read that sometime.”

Some felt bad that they had even asked me by saying:

“I'm sorry if I embarrassed you.”

I always reassured them that I was very happy to share. It didn’t bother me at all.

With a look of ease and a smile, many would usually say to me: 

“Well, it looks nice.”

Other people commonly wanted to know if I was part of some denomination.

My usual answer was: 

“I am just a Bible believing, born again Christian, with a desire to obey God’s Word. That is all.” 

While there are some Christians who do practice this, in the United States and western nations as a whole, it is not a common thing to see a woman with her head covered.

I grew up not knowing what a head covering was. I never saw a woman with a head covering on until I was in my early teens. If someone would have told me as a young teenager that I would one day wear a head covering, I would have said: 

 “I don’t think so.” 

For many people, it looks different, strange, and even weird. Those would have been my thoughts as a child. I grew up being somewhat familiar with 1 Corinthians 11, but I never read it much.

When I was 15 years old, I began reading that passage of Scripture more. 

The first part of 1 Corinthians 11 begins with the Apostle Paul giving a clear outline of God’s headship order. God - Christ - Man - Woman. 

I grew up knowing about God’s headship order, something that does not change. 

(1 Corinthians 11:3) 

In the next few verses, the Apostle Paul says that men are not to cover their physical head, and women are to cover their physical head. He makes a clear distinction between headship order and the physical head by mentioning hair. (hair obviously grows on the physical head)

(1 Corinthians 11:4-6)

Paul goes on to share when and why men are not to cover their physical head and when and why women are to cover their physical head, pointing the entire reason to when God created man and woman. 

(1 Corinthians 11:7-9)

Lastly, the Apostle Paul finishes that portion of scripture by saying that it is a shame if a man has long hair, but that it is a glory if a woman has long hair. 

(1 Corinthians 11:14-15)

In other words, men are to have short hair, and women are to have long hair. 

That all made perfect sense to me.

I was taught God’s headship order. That is something that does not change. 

I was also taught that men should have short hair and women should have longer hair. That is also something that does not change. 

I was also taught that men should not cover their head when praying, but it was okay if a woman had something on her head when she prayed. 

I knew the reason for all these things went directly to this portion of Scripture.

However, I was never taught anything about women having long hair and covering their head. I grew up doing whatever I wanted with my hair, and I did not cover my head.

Reading this portion of Scripture is why I now have long hair and why I now cover my head.

A head covering similar to the one I wear.

I know there are different views about this portion of Scripture, as to how and when a woman’s head covering should be worn, and I respect that.

I believe that God’s headship order does not change. I also believe that everything the Bible says about men in this chapter applies for today. Because of that, I came to believe that everything the Bible says about women in this chapter also applies for today.

Would it be right to say that the Bible applies to men in this chapter today, but not to women? 

I get questions and strange looks for wearing a head covering, and I understand. It’s not a common thing.

I have been accused by some that the only reason I cover my head is for the “praise of man”. 

No, I don’t get the “praise of man” for doing this. I usually get the opposite, particularly from relatives who “put me down” for doing this.

I don’t cover my head for any denomination. Trust me, if I covered my head for people, I never would have put on a head covering in the first place. I do this for God and God alone. It is in His Word.

The Bible doesn’t say what a woman’s head covering should look like so I don’t define that. I only desire to obey it in obedience to God. The Bible seems to indicate that it is a woman’s glory, her long hair, that is to be covered so that is why I cover mine.

When I was in Israel, I enjoyed seeing conservative, Jewish women who also do this. They cover their head and hair almost identical to how I do with some slight variations. Their reason for covering their head might be different than mine, but still, it was encouraging to see. 

Our Messiah, the Lord Jesus Christ, was Jewish. His mother surely would have covered her head. Down through the centuries, women have always covered their head. It has only been in the last 100 years or so that western women, in general, no longer cover their head. While this still remains in the pages of our Bible, this has become a lost practice for western women.

I have long, thick, wavy, dark brown hair, and there are times I would love to wear my hair down. I love it. But God says it is to be covered.

Someone once asked me: 

“Why would God tell women to have long hair only to cover it?”

It was a good question, and it made me think. 

My conclusion was: 

Not everything that is beautiful on a woman is meant to be seen by everyone. According to God, my body is also beautiful, but that is also to be covered and not put on display for everyone to see.

Some things in the Bible are a mystery to me. 

One of the biggest mysteries to me is that, by covering my long hair on my head, I get to display something to the angels who are watching. I marvel that such a small thing on woman’s head could be that way, but indeed, the Bible says it is. 

“For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.”

1 Corinthians 11:10

Modesty

When I was growing up, I didn’t know what the word modest meant. I don’t think I even heard that word until I was in my early to mid teen years, and I had no clue what it meant. For most people, I’m sure different things come to mind when hearing or thinking of the word modest.

Some definitions of this word are:

Modest - behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency.

Modest - decency in dress, speech, or conduct.

I think those definitions give a good idea of what modesty is.

Writing a blog post about this subject is a little daunting to me. I’m no expert on this, and there are so many different cultures around the world who view things differently. I respect that.

However, modesty is something the Bible speaks about. As someone desiring to obey God’s Word, I’ve desired to know what that means.

I think the ultimate goal of modesty should be the heart and attitude of a person. In other words, modesty begins on the inside. Modesty is a character quality.

However, when the Bible uses the word modest, it uses it in the context of the clothing we wear.

What does modest clothing look like?

There are probably a thousand different opinions out there from people who share what modest clothing should look like. 

For someone desiring to obey God in this area, hearing all those opinions could be overwhelming. 

I have no desire to add another opinion about modest dress. But since I have gotten asked by many people why I wear some kind of a skirt or dress all the time, I thought I would share some thoughts as well as my own testimony in this area.

I grew up wearing whatever my parents gave me, and I never thought twice about it. I think that is true of all children. Children wear whatever their parents put on them or give them to wear.

I came from a Christian home, and I grew up wearing clothing like most American girls wore. I looked like everyone else in western culture. I honestly didn’t know anything else. 

As I neared the age of 15, my mom mentioned to me and my sisters that God might have something to say in His Word about how we should dress. I had never been taught anything like that before. That was new to me. 

Being in my mid-teens, I wasn’t exactly open to the idea of changing my clothing. I was happy and very content wearing jeans or shorts with a shirt. That was all I knew. 

During that time, I had a personal walk with God. I loved Him, and I wanted to obey Him. Slowly, I became open to the idea that God’s Word did have something to say about how we should dress.

Over time, I began changing my clothing. Instead of jeans or shorts, I wore jumpers or skirts instead. Admittedly, I felt very odd and out of place. To me, skirts or dresses were something I only wore to church.

With time, skirts and dresses became my normal, every day clothing, and it became my own belief from God’s Word. 

After 10 years of dressing this way, now around the age of 25, I stumbled across a letter that someone in my family wrote about the way I dressed. I won’t go into detail, but they made it clear that they thought I dressed in an extreme manner by wearing a skirt or a dress all the time. 

Reading that left me with a knot in my stomach. Was I too extreme in my clothing? It was an honest question. 

The sad thing about deception is: when you are deceived, you do not know it.

For 10 years of my life (age 15-25), had I been dressing in a manner that God did not intend? Did I go too far in wearing a skirt or dress all the time?

I never would have changed my clothing if that was the case. I felt so hurt and very confused.

All alone in the quietness of a room, I knelt down, cried, and prayed that night. I told the Lord that the only thing I wanted was to please Him and do what was right. I asked the Lord to please show me His heart. God used that to take me deeper into His Word.

If you stop to think about it, what really matters? God’s Word or man’s opinion?

Although I really respect Godly people I know, their opinions don’t matter.

The only thing that matters is what the Word of God says. God’s Word is what we will be held accountable for, not man’s opinions.

The beautiful thing about God’s Word is that it gives us basic things to follow, and in those things, we see the heart of God.

I heard someone say once that God is a perfect Gentleman. God never forces anything on anyone, and I love that. God honors our free will. God desires that what we do in obedience to Him comes from a heart of love for Him. 

With that said, may I share some things I’ve seen in God’s Word on this subject?

When I’ve shared these things with other people, I’ve had a few people say to me:

 “Would you write those things down for me?” 

With that said, I thought I would also share those things here on my blog. 

I will share that I have no desire to add another opinion. These are things I see clearly in God’s Word, and I desire to obey it as well as I can.

Remember, obedience to God’s Word will always look like something.  

Modest Clothing 

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel...” 

1 Timothy 2:9 

God’s Word says that women are to wear modest apparel - modest clothing. Most people seem to know that modest clothing is something that covers the body and is not tight or revealing.

Our clothing should cover us, be comfortable, and fit us well. Our clothing should not be too large or too small, and it should be well ordered. In other words, we should be covered, neat, and clean. The opposite of that is not a good testimony for God.

The Bible talks about modest clothing.

Obedience to that has to look like something. 

Male and Female Clothing

“The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.” 

Deuteronomy 22:5

God does not change, and according to this verse, God desires gender distinction even in clothing.

Would a dress be modest on a man? Sure! You could make a dress for a man that covers him well. Why don’t we make skirts or dresses for men in the United States? 

Because dresses are distinctly female clothing. 

Would pants/ trousers be modest on a woman? Sure! You can purchase pants that cover the body and are not tight. They are available in the United States for both men and women. Why don’t I wear a pair of modest pants for women? 

Because pants are distinctly male clothing. 

The Bible talks about male and female clothing. 

Obedience to that has to look like something. 

This is why I wear a skirt or a dress all the time. 

Godly Clothing 

“I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.”

Romans 12:1 

This verse mentions dedicating our bodies to the Lord because of His great mercy towards us. 

I believe that includes our clothing because clothing is what covers our bodies. Our clothing should reflect the Lord in a Godly way. 

The next verse talks about not being conformed to this world, but renewing our mind in God’s Word. 

That verse is where some Christians begin defining what is worldly and what is not worldly. Sadly, that is how many man made rules happen. 

In recent years, I asked the Lord what worldliness was to Him. Right away, the Lord directed me to His Word, to the book of 1 John. Then I prayed and asked the Lord for a simple definition of what worldliness was. He answered me. 

Worldliness is ungodliness. 

That made everything so clear to me. 

We should dress in a Godly manner, not an ungodly manner. 

The Bible talks about dedicating our bodies to Him. 

Obedience to that has to look like something. 

~ 

I have found these things to be very clear and helpful because these things are not based on man’s opinion. These are things in God’s Word.

I might not have everything right, but I’m desiring to obey God’s Word as best as I can, and that is why I dress the way that I do. I realize that people can be at a different place with these things, and that is okay. I love people for who they are, not for what they wear. 

I believe our heart is what is most important to God. But, God also cares about how we dress, otherwise, He wouldn’t have said something about that in His Word.

I believe modesty is both the heart attitude and the clothing that we wear. 

God made me a woman, and I love being a woman. I love beauty. I love elegance. I love simplicity. 

I love God, and I want to be beautiful in a way that honors God, both in my heart (my spirit) and in my clothing. (my body) 

The Bible says my body belongs to God, and with it, I desire to glorify God.

“For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” 

1 Corinthians 6:20

Others

I heard once that evidence of our love for God is often seen through our love for other people. 

That idea fits God’s Word. 

Matthew 22:37-40 says: 

“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. 

And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

Here is a beautiful poem that I’ve enjoyed about loving and serving others.

Others 

 

Lord help me live from day to day

In such a self-forgetful way

That even when I kneel to pray

My prayer shall be for others.

Help me in all the work I do

To ever be sincere and true

And know that all I do for you

Must needs be done for others.

Let self be crucified and slain

And buried deep; and all in vain

May efforts be to rise again

Unless to live for others.

And when my work on earth is done

And my new work in heaven’s begun

May I forget the crown I’ve won

While thinking still of others.

Others, Lord, yes others

Let this my motto be

Help me to live for others

That I may live like Thee.

~ Charles D. Meigs

My Favorite Word

There is a word that the Jewish people say quite often. It is the word shalom. 

Many people seem to know that the word shalom means peace, but in Israel, this word is also used as a friendly greeting to say hello and goodbye. It is a versatile word that can mean many things.

This word carries such depth, I’m not sure I have ever come across any other word in my entire life that carries such a deep and beautiful meaning. 

It has become my favorite word. 

According to the Strong’s Concordance, the word shalom means: 

completeness, wholeness, health, peace, safety, soundness, tranquility, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord. 

Shalom comes from the root verb meaning: 

to be complete, perfect, and full. 

Isn't that beautiful? 

If someone says shalom, shalom that means perfect peace. (a double blessing)

Jesus said: 

“I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” 

John 10:10  

Jesus said this in the context of sheep following their Shepherd. This is why Jesus came to earth. He came to give us shalom.

Often, when I pray for someone with some kind of sickness, trial, or anything that is not good, I pray for God’s shalom to be upon them.

I’m sure the Lord Jesus would have said shalom as a greeting to people when He walked this earth. That is such a precious thought to me because true shalom comes from Him!

With that said, I wish you shalom, shalom! 

A Universal Word

Did you know that there is one word that is pronounced exactly the same way in every language throughout the world? 

This word is also a Hebrew word.

God must have wanted everyone, in every nation, to know this word since the entire world knows it! 

Can you guess what word this is? 

If you guessed the word “Hallelujah” you are correct.

The first part of this word is the Hebrew word Hallel which means Praise.

The second part of this word is Jah which is the first part of God’s name. 

Our English letter J is usually the Hebrew letter Y, so in Hebrew it is Yah.

Put together, the word “Hallelu-Yah” means “Praise Yah!” or “Praise God!” 

That is significant to me, because it tells me that our God, the God of Israel, the One true God, the only God, the Creator of heaven and earth, wants everyone on earth to praise Him!

In English, we say God's name is Jehovah. 

In Hebrew, many say God's name is Yahweh. 

Those who have studied God’s Hebrew name in depth say that it is Yahuah or Yahovah. (where we get the English name Jehovah from) I’m convinced God’s name, in Hebrew, is one of those.

One thing is certain: the first part of God’s name in Hebrew is YAH. 

You say that every time you say “HalleluYAH!” 

Psalm 68:4 says:

“Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: extol him that rideth upon the heavens by his name JAH, and rejoice before him.”

The Master Tuner

Next Saturday will be my 38th birthday. Thinking about that reminded me of a story 20 years ago.

It was October of 2000, and I turned 18 that year. I had played the harp for just a year at that point. When I received my harp the year before, the harp maker encouraged me to consider purchasing an electronic tuner to tune my harp with. Another option, they said, would be to tune my harp to a piano if we had one. Thankfully, we had a piano, and I tuned my harp to our piano that first year of playing. I’d play a key on the piano and tune the corresponding string on my harp to that note. That seemed to work well.

One day, I remember tuning my harp to our piano as I always did. That day, I remember having a difficult time getting the octaves to sound in tune with each other. Something was sounding a little off. I made sure I tuned each string correctly to our piano, but I still had a frustrating time getting the octaves to sound in tune with each other.

Since I had a birthday coming up, I mentioned the idea to my parents that owning an electronic tuner might be a good idea and dropped that as a strong hint to them. Sure enough, my parents purchased that as a birthday gift for me. Although I had never used one before, I was excited to begin using it to tune my harp with. 

My 18th birthday - October 2000

That evening, after finishing cake and ice cream, I went back into our living room with my new electronic tuner so I could tune my harp with it.

As I plucked the strings, the electronic tuner showed each string being about half a note off.

Hmm, that is odd, I thought.  

For example, an A string was showing A “flat” on the electronic tuner rather than A “natural” as the string should have been. All the strings on my harp were this way. 

Surely not, I thought.

It took me a few minutes to figure out how to use the electronic tuner, but once I understood how to use it, I decided to just follow what it said. After a while, I had all the strings on my harp tuned to it. 

After that, I decided to play a harp CD that evening by someone else, and I was so overjoyed. My harp sounded exactly like the harp on this recording. My harp was in tune for the first time after an entire year of owning it! I felt like I had a brand new harp that night. My harp sounded so different and so amazing!

To our dismay, we discovered that our piano was badly out of tune by an entire half note (flat), and I had been tuning my harp to it for an entire year!

When we moved to Colorado from California, we never had our piano tuned after the move. Our piano was out of tune, and we didn’t know it because all of the piano strings had gone out of tune with each other so it didn’t sound that bad. 

A short time later, my parents had a piano tuner come to our home to tune our piano. How fun it was to have our piano tuned as well!

That made me think of an analogy. As Christians, sometimes we can compare ourselves to each other. We can “tune” ourselves to what other Christians are doing, thinking that we’re totally fine, rather than checking to see if we match the “master tuner” - God’s Word.

I see people do this all the time. We tend to follow others. That is not a bad thing as long as the people we’re following are “in tune” with God and His Word.

But if we’re following people who are not “in tune” with God or His Word, we have to be careful because we may slowly begin to “tune” ourselves to them, exactly like I was doing when tuning my harp to our piano that was badly out of tune. It came as a total shock when I compared my harp to the correct tuner. My harp was way off. 

The beautiful thing is, when we follow God’s Word, we are encouraging others to do the same. When Christians are tuned to God and His Word, it’s like a grand orchestra of many instruments that have all been tuned to the master tuner. 

The end result is glorious! 

The Greatest Command

I used to view the Old and New Testament of the Bible as being separate from each other. While there is a sense of that being true with Christ coming to earth and the beginning of Christianity, there is much in the Bible that is linked together.

For instance, did you know that the greatest commandment in the New Testament is also the greatest commandment in the Old Testament?

I used to think when Jesus shared the greatest commandment with his followers, that was something completely new to them. But it wasn’t. It was in the book of Deuteronomy all along.

The greatest command, to love the Lord our God with all our heart, is throughout the entire Bible.

“Hear, O Israel: The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart.”

Deuteronomy 6:4-6 

~

“And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.”

Mark 12:29-30

My Personal Testimony

Recently, I was thinking, what better thing to share on my blog than my personal testimony? 

One of the best ways to get to know someone is to share your testimony with them.

Simply put, this is my story of how I came to know God in a personal way. Or better put, this is how God lovingly drew me to Himself. 

It’s one thing to know about God. It’s another thing to know God in a personal way.

In sharing my testimony, I’ll fill in some details about my childhood because there were many things that led to it.

I was born in Michigan in October of 1982 to my parents, Tom and Cheryl Cross. They named me Erin Lynn. I’m the oldest of seven children, and I feel blessed to come from a large family with so many siblings. 

As a child, I was loved by my parents and taught about God. As a young girl, my Mom spent a lot of time with my sister Cheri and I. She would sing songs with us about the Lord throughout the day. She would sing with us while riding in the car, while taking walks, while at home, and especially before going to bed at night. My Mom would also read Bible stories to us and pray with us before going to bed each night. My Mom also helped us to memorize Bible verses. By doing those things with us, my Mom planted something precious in us. 

I was taught to obey my parents as a child, and when I disobeyed them, I was disciplined for it. 

My 5th birthday - October 1987

When I was growing up, my family attended Baptist churches. One Sunday evening, when I was around 5 years old, my Mom read a Bible story to me from Sunday School that day. It was the story of Nicodemus who came to Jesus by night. I thought it was a nice story, but that was about it. 

After reading that story to me, my Mom asked me if I would like to “invite Jesus into my heart” so I could go to heaven someday to live with Him forever. I said “yes” that I would like to do that. So my mom prayed a short, simple prayer with me that night in our living room. After that, my mom told me that I had “accepted Jesus” as my Savior, and I didn’t need to do that ever again. She said I was now “saved” no matter what. As a child, I believed everything my parents told me. So from that time on, I was happy that I was “saved”. 

That is not my testimony. 

Because I was so young at that age, I did not fully understand everything. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to go to heaven and not to hell. That is just common sense, right?

When I reached the age to begin school, my parents decided to homeschool me. My mom taught me how to read, write, spell, and do basic math. She was a very good teacher. I was homeschooled for Kindergarten and 1^st grade, and then I attended a public school for 2^nd and 3^rd grade near our home in Michigan. 

In August of 1992, we moved to Santa Barbara, California. My Dad was a Pilot for United Airlines, and he received a job transfer. My parents were not impressed with the public schools in California so they decided to homeschool again. I began 4^th grade in the fall of 1992, and I turned 10 years old that October.

My parents decided to use the “Abeka” school curriculum for us. Along with our school books, we used something called the Abeka Home School Video Program. This meant we had a teacher who taught our school lessons every day in a real classroom which had been taped on video. Even though we did school at home, it felt like we were in a real school classroom. I enjoyed doing this for school, and I especially enjoyed my first subject every day which was Bible. In my Bible class, the teacher usually began with prayer, sang some songs with us, helped us to memorize Scripture, and shared a lesson from a Bible story.

For 4^th and 5^th grade, I had a video teacher named Mr. Bowman who taught most of my subjects, including Bible. He was one of my favorite school teachers.

One morning, at the age of 11 and in 5^th grade, my teacher, Mr. Bowman, taught in our Bible class that sin separates us from God. He used an illustration on his picture board to demonstrate this. He showed a picture of two very large cliffs with a large gap in between those two cliffs. He used this picture to show us that man was on one side, and God was on the other side. He showed us there was absolutely no way man could get to God on the other side on his own. The gap was just far “too wide” because of our sin. Then he showed us a picture of a cross laid from one side of the cliff to the other side. He proceeded to share that this was the only way man could get over to God. This was only made possible through what God’s Son did in dying for us. Our teacher shared that the only thing that could wash away sin in God’s sight was the blood of Jesus. Those were things I knew very well since I’d been taught those things as a child.

However, my school teacher went on to share that if we had sin in our heart when we prayed, the Lord would not hear us. 

He shared Psalm 66:18 which says:

“If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.”

The Holy Spirit used what my school teacher said, and those words went straight to my heart. 

For the first time in my life, I was convicted of my sin. I saw myself as the sinner I was. I saw that my sin was separating me from talking to God.

Ever since I was a young girl, I loved it when my mom prayed with me at night before going to sleep. I remember when she would come in to say “good night”. I would ask her to pray with me if she had not already done so. I enjoyed praying with her, and when I realized that the Lord didn’t hear me because of my sin, I was really troubled.

I slowly began confessing my sin to the Lord and agreeing with Him that I had done wrong. I knew that things I had done wrong as a child, as well as things I was doing then, was sin to God. My school teacher told us many times in our Bible class that it was very important to keep our heart right with the Lord by confessing and repenting to God when we sinned.

I did this for about 3 months, and the Holy Spirit continued to work in my heart. The more I confessed to the Lord, the more sin God showed me in my life. I had a very bad habit of lying when I had disobeyed my parents or had done something I did not want anyone to know about. I remember my school teacher telling us one day in Bible class that Satan was the “father of lies”. I was so alarmed! I did not want to be like Satan. I wanted to be like Jesus. So, I confessed my sin of lying to the Lord, and I asked the Lord to help me. After confessing that, I remember thinking: 

“I want to be right with the Lord about everything!”

I decided I was going to confess every sin I could think of that I had ever done. I will never forget that day. 

I went outside late one afternoon all alone and stood at the top of a hill that was behind our backyard. At the top of the hill was a large, church parking lot which overlooked much of the town of Santa Barbara. It was a beautiful day, and it was quiet when I went up there to talk with the Lord. Tall, eucalyptus trees swayed gently above me with aloe plants growing low to the ground. White and purple daisies were in bloom, and an avocado orchard graced the bottom of another hill slope near by. I remember it all so vividly, and I remember looking up into the sky as I talked with the Lord, believing He was right there listening to my every word. 

Tall, eucalyptus trees like the ones that surrounded our home in California. 

I told the Lord that I wanted to get my heart right with Him. I began confessing and repenting of specific sins. (such as lying, disobedience, etc.) I had a deep sorrow for what I had done, and I cried knowing that it was my sin that separated me from God, and it was my sin that Jesus died for. I knew I had sinned against a holy, righteous God, and I deserved God’s punishment. I also knew there was absolutely nothing I could do to “erase” my sin in God’s sight. At that moment, I suddenly pictured Jesus dying on a cross for me! I felt God’s love for me in a way I had never felt before. By faith, I trusted in the blood of Christ, right then and there, to wash away all of my sin. I told the Lord, from that moment on, I wanted to keep my heart right with Him. I realized this was not a “once and done” type thing. I knew that walking with God, keeping my heart right with Him, clean through His cleansing blood, would be a daily choice.

I hesitated for a brief moment, pondering the large decision I was about to make. I decided that I did not want “my own way” anymore. I wanted God’s plan for my life instead. It would be so much better than anything I could ever choose. I told the Lord that my life now belonged to Him; I was gladly giving my life to Him. I was willing to follow the Lord wherever He wanted me to go and do whatever He wanted me to do. I accepted Him that day as my Savior and my Lord. 

A daisies like the ones that grew near our home in California. 

After praying, I remember walking back down to our home filled with such joy! I felt so free and so clear! I had peace with God. I had been “born again”. God’s Spirit now lived in me. I knew that I was God’s child, and He was my heavenly Father Who would be with me at all times.

This is when I truly became a Christian. No one was with me that afternoon telling me what to pray or what to say. This was coming out of my own heart by the working of God’s Spirit. My little prayer at 5 years old was only because I wanted to go to heaven and not to hell. 

But on that beautiful day in 1994 at the age of 11 (almost 12), I came to God on my own because I wanted a relationship with Him. What a huge difference this made in my life, and I truly became a new person. 

A short time later, I went to family members I had lied to or had done wrong to in the past, and I asked for their forgiveness. What a joy it was to be clear with others also! 

Bible verses and songs that I had learned as a child became so alive and so real to me in a way they never had before! The words echoed my heart! There were Bible verses that became very dear to me as I grew in my walk with the Lord. Some of those verses were:

“Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.”

1 John 4:13

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.”

1 John 1:7 

As a young Christian, the book of 1 John became my favorite book of the Bible, and to this day, it still is. Others verses that became very special to me were:

“Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory.”

1 Peter 1:8

“O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.”

Psalm 34:8

Psalm 34:8 has been my favorite Bible verse because I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. 

This is my testimony. This is my story. I love Him because He first loved me. (1 John 4:19) 

Welcome To My Blog!

If you’re visiting for the first time, welcome! 

I plan to share glimpses of my life here as well as thoughts from my walk with God. I enjoying sharing, hence my reason for having a blog. 

Since this is a new blog, I thought I’d begin by sharing a brief introduction about myself.

I am a single, Christian woman in my late 30’s, and I come from a large family. I’m the oldest of 7 children. I’m blessed to have 6 siblings - 3 sisters and 3 brothers.  

I was raised in a Christian home. When I was growing up, my family attended Baptist churches. 

When I was a little older, my family attended some Anabaptist churches. Baptist and Anabaptist. They sound similar, and in some ways, they are. In other ways though, they are very different. I’ll spare you those details.

Most importantly, I’m thankful I had parents who read Bible stories to me when I was growing up and taught me about God and His Word. God’s Word is what is most important. 

In the past 10 years, I’ve enjoyed learning more about the Hebrew culture of the Bible which I will share from time to time on this blog. 

In the past 10 years, I’ve been blessed to visit the land of Israel, the land of the Bible, three times. I love it there! Being there in person brings the Bible to life in a special way.

I also love singing and music, especially harp music. As reflected in my subtitle for this blog, I am a harpist. I’ve played the harp for 20 years, ever since my parents purchased my first harp as a gift for me when I was 17 years old. I now own many different size lever harps and have been blessed to record 6 albums of harp music. I also give harp lessons.

There is more I could share, but that is what future posts on this blog are for. 

Most of all, I desire to lift up the Lord Jesus Christ, Yeshua our Messiah (His Hebrew name) on this blog. I desire to share about His Word, His love, and His goodness. 

Psalm 16:11 says:

“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”