I was homeschooled by my mom for Kindergarten and 1st grade. After that, I went to a public school in Michigan for 2nd and 3rd grade.
I remember, vividly, being asked by friends in our small neighborhood in Michigan and at school:
“What do you want to be when you grow up?”
To me, that question was common back in the 1980’s when I was growing up. I can understand why. In the United States, there were so many opportunities for both men and women.
As a young girl, I had no idea what I wanted to be when I grew up. I used to wonder why I was even asked that question.
I remember answering someone once by saying:
“I don’t know.”
“Maybe a teacher?”
I was very happy and content as a daughter in my parent’s home. What I wanted to be when I grew up was the last thing on my mind.
Around the age of 10, living in California, I took an interest in doing special braids of all kinds in girl’s hair as well as my own. But that was just a hobby, not a career for when I grew up. I still enjoy doing special braids in girl’s hair when I get the chance.
I enjoyed learning to sew at the age of 10 through some sewing classes I took from a mom in our homeschool group. I enjoyed that so much!
Music was what I really loved though. When I was 11 years old, my Dad purchased our first piano, and I began taking piano lessons. I was thrilled.
I also loved animals, especially our five cats. At one time, I think we had three litters of kittens from three of our female cats. We had around 30 cats (for real!), mostly kittens, until we found good homes for the kittens. I treasure those memories. I was a busy 12 year old helping to take care of so many cats and kittens. I enjoyed it tremendously. I was a happy, joyful, and contented daughter in my parent’s home.
Around the age of 13, my best friend and I volunteered to help with young children at church. We helped out in Sunday school for younger ages, and we helped out in the nursery a little too.
It was then, around age 13, that I knew exactly what I wanted to be when I grew up.
I wanted to be a wife and mom someday.
I specifically remember sharing that with my friend while helping out in the nursery with her.
Around the ages of 13 and 14, I enjoyed helping to make meals at home. I also enjoyed helping to clean up our kitchen after supper.
I enjoyed walks with my mom and my siblings in our neighborhood in California, and I especially loved the quiet, little park so close to our home. With permission, I loved riding my bike alone through the neighborhoods near our home. It was fun to see all the different homes in the neighborhoods near the park I enjoyed so much.
Around the age of 15, I began to notice some nice young men. (smile) I was a normal young lady with God given desires.
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| Me at age 15 in our home in Santa Barbara, California. December 1997. |
Just before I turned 17, living in Colorado with my family, I decided to pray for the first time for a Godly husband someday.
After finishing school, all of my interest went towards music, and I began learning to play the harp at age 17.
At the age of 18 and 19, I loved helping my mom around our home with meals and cleaning, and I enjoyed sewing as well.
I never went to college because I had no interest in a career. All I wanted was to be a wife and mom.
During the time that most young adults go to college, I took harp lessons from a professional harp teacher in our local area. I took harp lessons for 3 and 1/2 years.
I took harp lessons from 2001-2004 at the ages of 18-22 years old, ironically, the exact years and ages I would’ve been if had I gone to college.
If I had gone to college, what would my major have been?
Music.
I was doing what I wanted without going to college. My harp teacher not only gave private harp lessons, she also taught at our local university. (Colorado State University)
If I had gone to college, what would my minor have been?
Teaching.
Ironically, just a few years later in 2006, I began teaching the harp and music.
I didn’t need college to learn to play and teach the harp. And I didn’t need college to learn how to teach school to my own children someday.
Money?
I didn’t need a college education for that either. I earned what I needed working in a small grocery store close to our home. I began working there when I was 20 years old.
My desire was to be at home though.
Why did I work outside the home? To purchase more harps with hopes of recording someday.
I expected to be married by the time I was 25.
That didn’t happen.
There were no Godly young men interested in me at that time. No one asked then.
What else could I do but pray? I continued to meet people and went on short term mission trips.
I used the gift God gave me with music and the harp to hopefully bless others with recordings.
Now in my early 40’s, I am old enough to have a 20 year old if I had been married in my early 20’s.
I see some things that I did not see in my early 20’s. I have a broader perspective now.
I took time to share details about my life in this post, not because I want this post to be all about me, but rather, to give some context to this post.
This is a post I have been writing for 2-3 months. This post has taken time and thought to write. It’s special to have a blog where I can share thoughts.
As shared before on this blog, I grew up in a Christian home. I grew up in Baptist churches until I was 15 years old.
At the age of 15, I was introduced to Anabaptist churches and was very blessed by them. Some of my closest and dearest friends come from Anabaptist backgrounds. But, that background, culture, and heritage is not mine.
I grew up as an American. I am English by birth. Most of my ancestors came from England. I am English in every sense of the word. Not only do I live in America, I grew up as an American, thankful to be an American, thankful for our freedoms and blessings.
That is my background, my culture, and my heritage. That is my tribe, if you will.
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| Me around age 5 in my Sunday school class at church in Michigan, holding my Bible while standing under an American flag. Around 1987. |
I share all that to say this. If you come from a culture that is different than mine, you might not fully understand where I am coming from.
If you come from a culture that values families, or if you are married with a family, you may not fully understand where I am coming from.
I am writing this post from my background and with my current American culture in mind.
I have never been involved in politics. I leave that with my Dad.
However, in the last number of years, I have noticed a major shift in our world, and I cannot help but notice things that are going on in politics, especially in my country. Evil isn’t hidden anymore; it is in your face.
Something I have noticed, especially in recent years, is the attack on children and their gender.
Boys want to be girls, and girls want to be boys. That is not normal.
I never heard about things like that when I was growing up. Never. But in recent years, I have heard a lot about it. It is deeply disturbing.
What is going on?
Satan is no longer hiding his agenda. He is targeting children. But why the gender confusion?
That made me think about things for a while. Satan’s attack on children and their gender is an attack on God’s design - male and female.
Why would Satan attack that, I wondered?
Then I realized. Satan’s attack on gender is an attack on God’s design for marriage and family.
Satan’s # 1 target has always been the souls of men. That will always be his # 1 target.
But after thinking about gender confusion and children (which includes some adults, sadly), I realized something.
I believe Satan’s # 2 target is the home, especially Godly homes and families. Satan is at war against homes and families.
Why do I think this?
God designed marriage as His way of bringing more human life into this world.
Without people getting married and having children, there would be no people on earth.
God loves life. God loves marriage and children and family. That is His design. God’s Word speaks highly of this. The Bible begins and ends with a marriage.
The Word of God says:
“Whoso findeth a wife findeth a good thing, and obtaineth favour of the LORD.”
Proverbs 18:22
Traditionally, men have always been the provider of the home. That is Biblical. (1 Timothy 5:8)
Traditionally, women have always been keepers at home. That is Biblical. (Titus 2:5)
In the United States, as well as other western nations, this is not the case anymore. Women are in the workforce like men instead of at home.
How did this happen?
It happened slowly through something called feminism.
Feminism was a movement that started in the 1800’s and went into the 1900’s. At first, most women did not go along with it because it was against traditional roles.
Satan’s plan didn’t start with gender confusion. His plan to destroy the home began much earlier with feminism.
Even though I am not married, I have come to realize something as I have gotten older.
Women have an enormous effect on men and on the home. God designed this.
To get Adam to disobey God, all Satan had to do was get Eve to disobey God. If Satan could get Eve to disobey God, then Satan had a much better chance at getting Adam to disobey God - because women have such an enormous effect on men.
Satan’s plan has not changed. How do you slowly bring an entire nation down? You target homes and families.
Target the women of that nation, and you get the men. Satan’s plan has not changed.
That is precisely what Satan has done through feminism.
Slowly, but surely, Satan has gotten women working outside the home.
Why do women need a man if they can provide for themselves?
Today, Satan offers many appealing opportunities to single, young adults, especially Americans. If he can prevent them from getting married and having children - that is even better.
Feminism has affected so many things in the United States, to the point that it has even affected Godly churches. And it goes totally undetected.
There is a war against homes and families.
Nations are built from homes and families. Churches are built from homes and families.
When I was a young lady, desiring a family of my own someday, I didn’t talk about it much because I was young. But that desire was there from God.
As I got older, into my 30’s, when I shared my desire for a family of my own, quite often, it was put down in a subtle way.
What do I want to be when I grow up?
I discovered that I could be anything I wanted - as long as that didn’t include being a wife and mom.
I felt that, not only from the outside world, but also from those in church. Feminism? Yes.
Does God use single people? Yes, very much!
1 Corinthians 7:34 makes this clear. Single people have enormous value in God’s Kingdom.
If you have no desire to be married, God can use you in a wonderful way. The apostle Paul is an example of this. He had no desire to be married.
If you are a Christian and love being single, God can use you mightily. Whether single or married, everyone has equal worth and value to God.
God does not choose people to be single though. God leaves that choice with each person.
The apostle Paul chose to be single.
The apostle Paul states:
“ Now concerning virgins I have no commandment of the Lord…”
1 Corinthians 7:25
Clearly, God allows virgins (single women) to choose whether they want to be married or single. God does not make that choice for single women.
God does not keep single women for Himself against their will or their desire to marry. And God does not force single women to get married if they would rather serve Him single.
God is a true Gentleman. Isn’t that precious?
The rest of this chapter, verses 25-40, are the apostle Paul’s thoughts and insights about marriage and singleness - not God’s command.
The Bible says there are some who made themselves eunuchs for the Kingdom of God.
Notice, God did not make that choice for them. They made that choice themselves.
“…and there be eunuchs, which have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake.”
Matthew 19:12
Once again, this verse clearly shows that God allows each person to make their own choice.
So precious.
If you desire to be single to serve God, God very much honors that. There are benefits.
And if you desire to be married, God honors that.
“Marriage is honourable in all…”
Hebrews 13:4
Marriage is God’s ultimate plan. And sadly, marriage is under attack.
When I wanted to learn to play the piano as a girl, and later the harp, I was encouraged by others.
I have thought about learning to play another instrument someday that I love. That is the cello.
I’ve gotten encouraging comments from others.
But when I mention a desire to have a family of my own, suddenly the comments change.
No, that’s not okay. You need to give that desire to God.
What?
God is the One Who gave me that desire.
If I want to learn to play the cello, that is okay? I don’t need to give that desire to God?
But if I want to get married, I need to give that desire to God? It makes no sense at all.
God gave mankind desires for a reason.
Feminism has crept into this nation, and it has done so much destruction! Who is behind it all?
The same one who went to Eve in the Garden of Eden. Satan, in disguise.
The evil one is very much against Godly homes, families, and marriages, and he will do everything he can to even prevent them from happening.
What is God’s ultimate purpose for women?
God’s Word says:
“I will therefore that the younger women marry, bear children, guide the house, give none occasion to the adversary to speak reproachfully.”
1 Timothy 5:14
God’s will is for single young women to marry, bear children, and guide the house. So clear.
God’s will is not for single women to get an outside job exactly like men. That is part of feminism.
God designed all women to need men whether they are single or married.
Single women, regardless of age, should be completely provided for by their father.
Married women, regardless of age, should be completely provided for by their husband.
Widowed women? There are things put in place in my country so a woman gets her husband’s extra income after he dies. I don’t understand how that works, but Christians should also look out for widows in need.
Is it wrong for women, single, married, or widowed, to earn money? No, not at all. Extra income is a blessing. But I believe God intended women to earn any needed income at home.
The Proverbs 31 woman is an example of this. She served her family above all. That is so clear. But she also sold linen fabric - which comes from flax. (Proverbs 31:13 and Proverbs 31:24) She did her work at home.
My heart goes out to women, single, married, or widowed, who have no choice but have to work to provide for their needs. That was not God’s plan.
Satan is also behind abortion clinics.
It is not God’s will for babies to be murdered in their mother’s womb. Yet, it happens all the time.
God is a true gentleman and has given mankind a free will to choose whatever it is they want to do.
God’s ultimate plan since the beginning of time is for marriage and family. God did not create Adam to be alone. God did not create Eve to be single.
God’s ultimate purpose for women is clearly seen when He created Eve in the Garden of Eden.
To desire a home and family is a good desire from God. God loves Godly homes and families.
The very first command God gave to mankind in the Bible was to “be fruitful and multiply.”
“And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply…”
Genesis 1:28
Sometime in the future, I would like to change the title of this blog to:
With Heart, and Harp, and Home
I hope to encourage other women by sharing things on this blog about women being at home.
God designed women to work and serve at home.
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