Weeping With Those Who Weep

Close to three weeks ago, I gave a harp lesson to a local student of mine one Friday afternoon. Before her lesson, her mom shared that they had a difficult and stressful week at home. Her mom wouldn't have needed to share that with me; I could see it in her daughter's face during her lesson.

Granted, the lesson in her harp book was a harder one, but I sensed a disconnect during the lesson. I could tell that she was thinking about something else. Her spirit seemed crushed and broken. 

I tried to make the lesson as enjoyable as I could. By the end of her lesson, I sensed a desire in her to share something with me. She put her small harp back in it's case, and then, sure enough, she began to share. As she shared, tears formed in her eyes. 

This girl is 16 years old and lost her Dad to an illness when she was 7 years old. She was grieving the loss of her father. 

“My Dad's birthday is coming up in November” she shared. 

And then her tears came forth in a flood as she shared, privately, in the room we had our harp lesson in. I listened to her share many details about the pain and stress in her life, including the loss of her Dad, for probably 20- 30 min. (her mom probably thought I decided to give her daughter an hour lesson that day instead of her usual half hour lesson.) I cried with her and offered her a hug. When I did, she wept, literally, on my shoulder. My dress was wet for awhile from her tears. 

It hurt me to hear what this girl has had to walk through in her young life, so much more than just the loss of her Dad. She sees her younger sister hurting too and carries that burden also. Being a firstborn like her, I could relate. Her pain is something that no 16 year old should have to walk through in my mind. And yet, because she desires to walk with God, God has given her strength. 

Before we left the room, I briefly encouraged her with a few things. By God's grace, I tried to simply listen to her as she shared her hurting heart. I assured her that I would pray for her and not share any specific details with anyone else that she so vulnerably shared with me. (her Dad's death is common knowledge.)

I carried that young lady close to my heart all weekend, and I lifted her up in prayer to God. I wished so much there was more that I could do, but all I could do was listen and pray.

I read a quote that weekend that said: 

“If you cannot understand why someone is grieving for so long, consider yourself fortunate that you do not understand.”

The quote made me think about my student. Most people (myself included) have no idea what it's like to lose their Dad at such a young age. (and the many ramifications of that) 

My harp student didn't need to hear a sermon from me that day about what she should or shouldn't do. If I would've preached to her instead of listening to her, she probably would have shut down immediately and would've never wanted to share with me again. 

My student needed a shoulder to cry on. She needed someone to listen to her, to weep with her, and to help bear her heavy burden. 

That made me think about these verses:  

“Bear ye one another's burdens, and so fulfil the law of Christ.”

Galatians 6:2 

~

“Rejoice with them that do rejoice, and weep with them that weep.” 

Romans 12:15 

I see the first part of the verse in Romans lived out frequently, but I rarely see Christians weep with others when they are weeping. 

Thinking about this made me realize how much healing could be brought to the body of Christ by simply “weeping with those who weep.” 

This made me think about the story of Jesus before he raised Lazarus to life after he died. Jesus knew He was going to raise Lazarus back to life, but before He did that, the Bible says that “Jesus wept.” (John 11:35) 

Why would Jesus cry if He knew He was going to raise Lazarus back to life? 

Jesus identified with others in their grief. He cried with them. 

Isn't that precious? We have a God who weeps with us in our grief and sorrow too. 

When we as Christians weep with others in their grief and sorrow, I believe we display God to a broken and hurting world. 

Others

I once heard that evidence of our love for God is often seen through our love for other people. 

That idea fits God’s Word because Matthew 22:37-40 says: 

“Jesus said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind. This is the first and great commandment. 

And the second is like unto it, Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself. On these two commandments hang all the law and the prophets.”

This is a beautiful poem that I've enjoyed about serving and loving others.  

Lord help me live from day to day

In such a self-forgetful way

That even when I kneel to pray

My prayer shall be for others.

Help me in all the work I do

To ever be sincere and true

And know that all I do for you

Must needs be done for others.

Let self be crucified and slain

And buried deep; and all in vain

May efforts be to rise again

Unless to live for others.

And when my work on earth is done

And my new work in heaven’s begun

May I forget the crown I’ve won

While thinking still of others.

Others, Lord, yes others

Let this my motto be

Help me to live for others

That I may live like Thee.

~ Charles D. Meigs

Modesty

Growing up, I didn't know what the word modest meant. I don't think I even heard that word until I was in my early to mid teen years, and I honestly had no clue what it meant. For many people, I'm sure different things come to mind when hearing or thinking of the word modest.

Some definitions of this word are:

Modest - behavior, manner, or appearance intended to avoid impropriety or indecency.

Modest - propriety in dress, speech, or conduct.

I think those definitions give a basic idea of what modesty is.

Writing a blog post about this is a bit daunting to me. I'm no expert on this subject, and there are so many cultures around the world who view things differently, and I respect that. 

However, modesty is something the Bible speaks about. As someone desiring to obey God's Word, I've desired to know what that means.

I believe the ultimate goal of modesty should be the heart and attitude of a person. In other words, modesty begins on the inside. Modesty is a character quality.

However, when the Bible uses the word modest, it uses it in the context of the clothing we wear.

What is modest clothing supposed to look like?

There are probably a thousand and one different opinions out there from people who share what modest clothing is supposed to look like. 

For someone sincerely desiring to obey God in this area, hearing all those opinions can be overwhelming. 

I have no desire to define modesty. But since I have gotten asked by many people why I wear some kind of dress all the time, I thought I'd share some of my thoughts as well as my own testimony in this area.

I grew up wearing whatever my parents gave me, and I never thought twice about it. I think that is true of all children. Children wear whatever their parents put on them or give them to wear.

I came from a Christian home, and I grew up wearing clothing that most American girls wore. I looked like everyone else in western culture. I didn't know anything else. 

As I neared the age of 15, my mom mentioned to me and my sisters that God might have something to say in His Word about how we should dress. I'd never been taught anything like that before. That was new to me. 

Being in my mid-teens, I wasn't exactly open to the idea of changing my clothing. I was happy and content wearing jeans or shorts with a shirt. That was all I knew. 

During that time, I had a personal walk with God. I loved God, and I wanted to obey Him. So, I slowly became open to the idea that maybe God's Word did have something to say about how we should dress.

Over time, I slowly began changing my clothing. Instead of wearing jeans or shorts, I wore a jumper or skirt. Admittedly, I felt odd and out of place. To me, dresses were something I only wore to church. In time, dresses became my normal, every day clothing, and it also became my own conviction from God’s Word. 

Around the age of 25, after 10 years of dressing this way, I stumbled across something that someone in my family wrote about the way I dressed. I won't go into detail about all that was written, but they made it clear that they thought I dressed in an extreme manner by wearing a dress or skirt all the time. 

Reading that left me with a knot in my stomach. Was I too extreme in my clothing? It was an honest question. The sad thing about deception is when you are deceived, you do not know it.

For 10 years of my life (age 15-25), had I been dressing in a manner that God didn't intend? Did I go too far in wearing a dress or skirt all the time? I never would have changed my clothing in the first place if that was the case. I felt very hurt and confused.

All alone in the quietness of a room, I knelt down, cried, and prayed that night. I told the Lord that the only thing I wanted was to please Him. I asked the Lord to please show me His heart. God used that to take me deeper into His Word.

If you stop to think about it, what really matters? God's Word or man's opinion?

All of us are influenced by people. 

Though I respect Godly people I know, even their opinions don't matter.

The only thing that matters is what the Word of God says. God’s Word is what we will be held accountable for, not man’s opinions.

The beautiful thing about God's Word is that it gives us things to follow, and in those things, we can see the heart of God.

I heard someone say once that God is a perfect Gentleman. God never forces anything on anyone, and I love that about God! God honors our free will. God desires that what we do in obedience to Him comes from a heart of love for Him. 

With that said, may I share some things I've seen in God’s Word on this subject?

When I've shared these things with other people, I've had a few people say to me:

 “Would you write those things down for me?” 

With that said, I thought I'd also share those things here on my blog. 

I will share that I'm not desiring to define anything. These are things I see clearly in God's Word, and I desire to obey them as best as I can.

Remember, obedience to God’s Word will always look like something.  

Modest Clothing 

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel...” 

1 Timothy 2:9 

God’s Word says that women are to wear modest clothing. Most people seem to inherently know that modest clothing is something that covers the body and is not tight or revealing.

Our clothing should cover us, be comfortable, and fit us well. Our clothing should not be too large or too small, and it should be “well ordered”. In other words, we should be covered, neat, and clean. The opposite of those things are not a good testimony for God.

Modest clothing is something God’s Word talks about. 

Obedience to that has to look like something. 

Male and Female Clothing

“The woman shall not wear that which pertaineth unto a man, neither shall a man put on a woman's garment: for all that do so are abomination unto the Lord thy God.” 

Deuteronomy 22:5

God does not change, and according to this verse, God desires gender distinction even in clothing.

Would a dress be modest on a man? Sure! You could make a dress for a man that covers him well. Then why don't we make dresses for men? 

Because dresses are distinctly female clothing. 

Would pants/ trousers be modest on a woman? Sure! You can purchase pants that cover the body and are not tight. They are available in the United States for both men and women. Why don't I wear a pair of modest pants for women? 

Because pants are distinctly male clothing. 

Male and female clothing is something God’s Word talks about. 

Obedience to that has to look like something. 

This is why I wear a dress or a skirt. 

Not wearing excessive adornment 

“In like manner also, that women adorn themselves in modest apparel, with shamefacedness and sobriety; not with broided hair, or gold, or pearls, or costly array; But (which becometh women professing godliness) with good works.”

1 Timothy 2:9-10 

The Bible says that women are not to wear gold, pearls, or costly array, which is why I don't wear those things. 

Obedience to that has to look like something.

I've found these things to be very helpful because these things are not based on man's opinion. These are things in God’s Word.

Maybe I don't have everything exactly right, but I'm desiring to obey God's Word as best as I can, and that is why I dress the way I do. I realize that people can be at a different place with these things, and that's okay. I love people for who they are, not for what they wear. 

I believe our heart is what is most important to God. But, God also cares about how we dress, otherwise, He wouldn't have written about that in His Word.

I believe modesty is both the heart and the clothing that we wear. 

God made me a woman, and I love being a woman. I love beauty. I love simplicity. I love elegance. 

I love God, and I want to be beautiful in a way that honors God, both in my heart (my spirit) and in my clothing (my body).

The Bible says that my body belongs to God, and with it, I desire to glorify God.

“For ye are bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body, and in your spirit, which are God’s.” 

1 Corinthians 6:20

The Thing On My Head

If you were to meet me in person, you'd notice that I wear something on my head. Usually, I wear a black scarf over my long hair which I wear up. This is a personal belief of mine from the Bible; I wear it for no other reason than that.

When I worked at a local grocery store, customers would frequently say to me:

“May I ask you a question?”

“Certainly.”

“What's that thing on your head?”

“You mean my scarf?”

“Yeah!”

My usual reply was: 

“I wear this on my head because the Bible teaches in 1 Corinthians 11 that women are to cover their head to show their place in God's created headship order.”

The typical response I got was something like: 

“Oh, yeah, the Bible does say that.” 

Hearing that response always kind of surprised me because the people asking me were obviously somewhat familiar with that passage of Scripture.

Others would say to me: 

“Oh, wow, I didn't know that. I'll have to read that sometime.”

Some felt bad that they'd even asked me by replying:

“I'm sorry if I embarrassed you.”

I always reassured them that I was very happy to share! It didn't bother me at all.

With a look of ease and a smile, many would often say to me: 

“Well, it looks nice.”

Other people commonly wanted to know if I was part of some denomination.

My usual answer was: 

“I'm just a Bible believing, born again Christian, with a desire to obey God's Word.”

While there are some Christians who do practice this, in the United States and the western world as a whole, it's not a common thing to see a woman with her head covered.

I grew up not knowing what a head covering even was. I never saw a woman with a head covering on until I was in my early teen years. If someone would've told me as a young teenager that I would one day wear a head covering myself, I would have said “no way!” 

For many people, it looks very different, strange, and perhaps even weird. Those would've been my thoughts as a child. I grew up being somewhat familiar with 1 Corinthians chapter 11, but I never read it much.

When I was 15 years old, I began reading and studying that passage of Scripture more. 

The first part of 1 Corinthians 11 begins with the Apostle Paul giving a clear outline of God’s headship order. God - Christ - Man - Woman. 

I grew up knowing about God’s headship order, something that does not change. 

(1 Corinthians 11:3) 

In the next few verses, the Apostle Paul says that men are not to cover their physical head, and women are to cover their physical head, making a clear distinction between headship order and the physical head by mentioning hair. (hair grows on the physical head.) 

(1 Corinthians 11:4-6)

Paul goes on to share when and why men are not to cover their physical head and when and why women are to cover their physical head, pointing the entire reason to when God created man and woman. 

(1 Corinthians 11:7-9)

Lastly, the Apostle Paul finishes that portion of scripture by saying that it is a shame if a man has long hair, but that it is a glory if a woman has long hair. 

(1 Corinthians 11:14-15)

In other words, men are to have short hair, and women are to have long hair. 

That all made perfect sense to me.

In our home and church, I was taught that men should have short hair and should not cover their head when praying. I knew the reason went directly to this portion of Scripture.

However, I was never taught anything about women having long hair and covering their head. I grew up doing whatever I wanted with my hair, and I did not cover my head.

Reading this portion of Scripture is why I now have long hair and why I now cover my head.

A head covering similar to the one I wear.

I know there are different views about this portion of Scripture, as to how and when a woman's head covering should be worn, and I respect that.

I believe that God's headship order does not change. I also believe that everything the Bible says about men in this chapter applies for today. Because of that, I came to believe that everything the Bible says about women in this chapter also applies for today.

Would it be right to say that the Bible applies to men in this chapter today, but not to women? 

I get questions and strange looks for wearing a head covering, and I understand that. It's not a common thing.

I have been accused by some that the only reason I cover my head is for the “praise of man”. 

No, I honestly don't get the “praise of man” for doing this. I usually get the opposite from people, particularly from relatives who “put me down” for doing this.

I don't cover my head for any Christian denomination. Trust me, if I covered my head for people, I never would have put on a head covering in the first place. I do this for God and God alone. It is in His Word.

The Bible doesn't say what a woman's head covering should look like so I don't define that. I only desire to obey it in obedience to God. The Bible seems to indicate that it is a woman's glory, her long hair, that is to be covered so that is why I cover mine.

When I was in Israel, I enjoyed seeing conservative, Jewish women also practice this. They cover their head and hair almost identical to mine with some slight variations to style and color. Their reason for covering their head might be slightly different than mine, but still, it was encouraging for me to see!

Remember, our Messiah, the Lord Jesus Christ, was Jewish. His mother surely would have covered her head. Down through the centuries, women have always covered their head. It has only been in the last 100 years or so that western women, in general, no longer cover their head. While this still remains in the pages of our Bible, this has become a lost practice for western women.

I have long, thick, wavy, dark brown hair, and there are times I would love to wear my hair down in public. I enjoy it! But God says it is to be covered.

Someone once asked me: 

“Why would God tell women to have long hair only to cover it?”

It was a good question, and it made me think. 

My conclusion was this: 

Not everything that is beautiful on a woman is meant to be seen by everyone. According to God, my body is also beautiful, but that is also to be covered and not put on display for everyone to see.

Some things in the Bible are a mystery to me. 

One of the biggest mysteries to me is that, by covering my long hair on my head, I get to display something to the angels who are watching. I marvel that such a small thing on woman's head could be that way, but indeed, the Bible says it is. 

“For this cause ought the woman to have power on her head because of the angels.”

1 Corinthians 11:10

My Favorite Word

A word that the Jewish people say a lot is shalom. Many people seem to know that the word shalom means peace, but in Israel, this word is also used as a friendly greeting to say hello and goodbye. It's a versatile word that can mean many things.

This word carries such a depth, I'm not sure I've ever come across any other word in my entire life that carries such deep meaning. It has become my favorite word! 

According to Strong's concordance, the word shalom means: 

completeness, wholeness, health, peace, safety, soundness, tranquility, perfectness, fullness, rest, harmony, the absence of agitation or discord. 

Shalom comes from the root verb meaning: to be complete, perfect, and full. 

Isn't that beautiful?! 

If someone says shalom, shalom that means perfect peace. (a double blessing!)

Jesus said: 

“I am come that they might have life, and that they might have it more abundantly.” 

John 10:10  

Jesus said this in the context of sheep following their Shepherd. This is why Jesus came to earth. He came to give us shalom.

Often, when I pray for someone with some kind of sickness, trial, or anything that's not good, I pray for God's shalom to be upon them.

I'm sure the Lord Jesus would have said shalom as a greeting to many people when He walked this earth. That is such a precious thought to me because true shalom only comes from Him!

With that said, I wish you shalom, shalom! 

A Universal Word

Did you know there is one word that is pronounced exactly the same way in every language throughout the world? This word is also a Hebrew word.

God must have wanted everyone, from every nation, to know this word since the entire world knows it! 

Can you guess what word this is? 

If you guessed the word “Hallelujah” you are correct.

The first part of this word is the Hebrew word Hallel which means Praise.

The second part of this word is Jah which is the first part of God's name. Our English letter J is usually the Hebrew letter Y, so in Hebrew it is Yah.

Put together, the word “Hallelu-Jah” means “Praise Yah!” or simply put “Praise God!” 

That is significant to me, because it tells me that our God, the God of Israel, the One true God, the only God, the Creator of heaven and earth, wants everyone on earth to praise Him!

In English, we say God's name is Jehovah. 

In Hebrew, people say God's name is Yahweh. 

Those who have studied God’s Hebrew name in depth say that God’s name is actually Yahuah or Yahovah. (where we get the English name Jehovah from.) I’m convinced that God's name, in Hebrew, is one of the latter two.

One thing is certain: the first part of God’s name in Hebrew is YAH. 

You say that every time you say “HalleluYAH!” 

Psalm 68:4 says:

“Sing unto God, sing praises to his name: extol him that rideth upon the heavens by his name JAH, and rejoice before him.”

The Master Tuner

Next Saturday will be my 38th birthday. Thinking about that reminded me of a story that goes back 20 years.

It was October of 2000, and I turned 18 that year. I had played the harp for a year at that point. When I received my harp the year before, the harp maker encouraged me to consider purchasing an electronic tuner to tune my harp with. A cheaper option, they said, would be to tune my harp to a piano if we had one. Thankfully, we had a piano, and I tuned my harp to our piano that first year of playing. I'd play a key on the piano and tune the corresponding string on my harp to that note. That seemed to work well!

One day, I remember tuning my harp to our piano as I always did. That day, I remember having a harder time getting all of the octaves to sound in tune with each other. Something was sounding a little off. I went back and made sure I tuned each string correctly to our piano, but I still had a frustrating time getting the octaves to sound in tune with each other.

Since I had a birthday coming up, I mentioned the idea to my parents that owning an electronic tuner might be a good idea and dropped that as a strong hint to them. Sure enough, my parents purchased that as a birthday gift for me, and although I'd never used one before, I was excited to begin using it to tune my harp with!

My 18th birthday - October 2000

That evening, after finishing some cake and ice cream, I went back into our living room with my new electronic tuner so I could tune my harp with it.

As I plucked each string on my harp, the electronic tuner showed each string being about half a note off.

Hmm, that is odd, I thought.  

For example, an A string was showing A "flat" on the electronic tuner rather than A "natural" as the string should have been. All the strings on my harp were this way. 

Surely not, I thought.

It took me a few minutes to figure out how to use the tuner, but once I understood how to use it, I decided to just follow what it said. After a while, I had all of the strings on my harp tuned to the electronic tuner. 

After that, I decided to play a harp CD that evening by someone else, and I was overjoyed! My harp sounded exactly like the harp on this recording. My harp was in tune for the very first time after an entire year of owning it! I felt like I had a brand new harp that night. My harp sounded so different and so amazing!

To our dismay, we discovered that our piano was badly out of tune by an entire half note (flat), and I had been tuning my harp to it for an entire year!

When we moved to Colorado from California two years earlier, we never had our piano tuned after the move. Our piano was out of tune, and we didn’t know it because all of the piano strings had gone out of tune in sequence with each other so it didn't sound that bad. 

A short time later, my parents had a piano tuner come to our home to tune our piano. How fun it was to have our piano tuned as well!

That made me think of an analogy. As Christians, sometimes we can compare ourselves to each other. We can “tune” ourselves to what other Christians are doing, thinking that we’re totally fine, rather than checking to see if we match the “master tuner” - God’s Word.

I see people do this all the time. We tend to follow others. That is not a bad thing as long as the people we’re following or looking up to are “in tune” with God and His Word.

But if we’re following or looking up to people who are not “in tune” with God or His Word, we have to be careful because we may slowly begin to “tune” ourselves to them, exactly like I was doing when tuning my harp to our piano that was badly out of tune! It came as a total shock when I compared what I thought was a “in tune” harp to the correct tuner! My harp was way off! 

The beautiful part is that, when we follow God’s Word, we are encouraging others to do the same. When Christians are properly tuned to God and His Word, it’s a lot like a grand orchestra of many instruments that have all been tuned to the master tuner. 

The end result sounds glorious! 

The Greatest Command

I used to view the Old and New Testament of the Bible as being separate from each other. While there is a sense of that being true with Christ coming to earth and the beginning of Christianity, there is much in the Bible that Jesus linked together.

For instance, did you know that the greatest commandment in the New Testament is also the greatest commandment in the Old Testament?

I used to think when Jesus shared the greatest commandment with his followers, that was something totally new to them. But it wasn't. It was in the book of Deuteronomy all along!

The greatest command, to love the Lord our God with all our heart, is throughout the entire Bible.

“Hear, O Israel: The LORD our God is one LORD: And thou shalt love the LORD thy God with all thine heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy might. And these words, which I command thee this day, shall be in thine heart.”

Deuteronomy 6:4-6 

~

“And Jesus answered him, The first of all the commandments is, Hear, O Israel; The Lord our God is one Lord: And thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with all thy soul, and with all thy mind, and with all thy strength: this is the first commandment.”

Mark 12:29-30

My Personal Testimony

I was recently thinking, what better thing to share on my blog than my personal testimony! One of the best ways to get to know someone is to share your testimony with them.

By saying, my personal testimony, I mean this is my story of how I came to know God in a personal way. Better put, this is how God lovingly drew me to Himself. 

It's one thing to know about God. It's another thing to know God personally.

To share my testimony, I'll need to fill in some details about my childhood, because, like all stories or testimonies, there were many factors that led to it.

I was born in Ann Arbor, Michigan in October of 1982 to my parents, Tom and Cheryl Cross. They named me Erin Lynn. I'm the oldest of seven children, and I consider myself blessed to come from such a large family with so many siblings! 

As a baby and child, I was loved by my parents and taught much about God. As a young girl, my mom spent a lot of time with my sister Cheri and I. She would sing songs with us about the Lord throughout the day. She would sing with us while riding in the car, while taking walks, while at home, and especially before going to bed at night. My mom would also read Bible stories to us and pray with us before going to bed each night. My mom also helped us to memorize Bible verses. By doing those things with us, my mom instilled in us a healthy fear and love for the Lord. I was taught to obey my parents as a child, and when I disobeyed them, I was disciplined for it. 

My 5th birthday - October 1987

When I was growing up, our family attended conservative, Baptist churches. One evening, when I was about 5 years old, my mom read a Bible story to me from my Sunday School lesson. It was the story of Nicodemus who came to Jesus by night. I thought it was a nice story, but that was about it. After reading that story to me, my mom asked me if I wanted to “invite Jesus into my heart” so I could go to heaven someday to live with Jesus forever. I said “yes” that I would like to do that. So my mom prayed a short, simple prayer with me that night in our living room. After that, my mom told me I'd “accepted Jesus” as my Savior, and I didn't need to do that ever again. She said I was now “saved” no matter what. As a child, I believed everything my parents told me, so from that time on, I was happy that I was “saved”. 

That is not my testimony! Because I was so young at that age, I didn't understand what I was doing. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to go to heaven and not to hell. That's just common sense, right? 

When I reached the age to begin school, my parents decided to home school me which I'm thankful for! My mom taught me how to read, write, spell, and do basic math. She was an excellent teacher! I was homeschooled for Kindergarten and 1^st grade (6 and 7 years old.) After my parents had their 3^rd child, my mom found it difficult to homeschool me and my sister while taking care of another little one. So my parents decided to send me and my sister to a public school. I attended a public school for 2^nd and 3^rd grade (8 and 9 years old) close to our home in Michigan.

In August of 1992, we moved to Santa Barbara, California. My Dad was a Pilot for United Airlines and received a job transfer to be based out of Los Angeles. My parents were not impressed with the public schools in California so they decided to homeschool once again. I began 4^th grade in the fall of 1992, and I turned 10 years old that October.

My parents decided to use the “ABeka” school curriculum for us. Along with our school books, we used something called the ABeka Home School Video Program. This meant that we had a teacher who taught our school lessons to us every day in a real classroom which had been taped on video. Even though we did school at home, we felt like we were in a real school classroom. I enjoyed doing this for school, and I especially enjoyed my first subject every day which was Bible. In my Bible class, the teacher usually began with prayer, sang some songs with us, helped us to memorize Scripture, and shared a lesson from a Bible story.

For both 4^th and 5^th grade, I had a video teacher named Mr. Bowman who taught most all of my subjects, including Bible. He was one of my favorite school teachers!

One morning, when I was in 5^th grade at the age of 11, my teacher, Mr. Bowman, taught in our Bible class that sin separates us from God. He used an illustration on his picture board to demonstrate this. He showed a picture of two very large cliffs with a large gap in between them. He used this picture to show us that man was on one side, and God was on the other side. He showed us there was absolutely no way man could get across to God on the other side on his own. The gap was “too wide” because of our sin. Then he showed us a picture of a cross laid from one side of the cliff to the other side. He proceeded to share that this was the only way man could get across to God. This was only made possible through what God's Son did in dying for us! Our teacher shared that the only thing that could wash sin away in God’s sight was the blood of Jesus. Those were things I already knew very well since I'd been taught those things as a child.

However, my school teacher went on to share that if we had sin in our heart when we prayed, the Lord would not hear us. He shared Psalm 66:18 which says:

“If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.”

The Holy Spirit used what my teacher said, and those words went straight to my heart. For the first time in my life, I was convicted of my sin. I saw myself as the sinner I was. I saw that my sin was separating me from talking to God.

From the time I was a young girl, I loved when my mom prayed with me at night before going to sleep. I remember when she would come in to say “good night”, I would ask her to pray with me if she hadn't already done so. I enjoyed praying to the Lord, and when I realized that the Lord didn't hear me because of my sin, I was greatly troubled!

I slowly began confessing my sin to the Lord and agreeing with Him that I'd done wrong in His sight. I knew that things I'd done wrong as a child, as well as things I was doing then, was indeed sin to God. My school teacher told us many times in our Bible class that it was very important to keep our heart right with the Lord by confessing and repenting to God whenever we sinned.

I did this for about 3 months, and the Holy Spirit continued to work in my heart. The more I confessed to the Lord, the more sin God showed me in my life. I had a very bad habit of lying when I'd disobeyed my parents or done something I didn't want anyone else to know about. I remember my school teacher telling us one day in Bible class that Satan was the “father of lies”. I was alarmed! I didn't want to be like Satan! I wanted to be like Jesus! So, I confessed my sin of lying to the Lord, and I asked the Lord to help me with it. After confessing that, there was a day when I remember thinking, “I just want to be right with the Lord on everything!” So I decided I was going to confess every sin I could think of that I'd ever done. I'll never forget that day! 

I went outside one late afternoon all alone and stood at the top of a hill that was behind our backyard. At the top of the hill was a large, church parking lot which overlooked much of the town of Santa Barbara. It was a beautiful spring day, and it was quiet when I went up there to talk with the Lord. Tall, eucalyptus trees swayed in the air above me with aloe plants growing low to the ground. White and purple daisies were in bloom, and an avocado orchard graced the bottom of another hill slope near by. I remember it all so vividly, and I remember looking up into the sky as I talked with the Lord, believing He was right there listening to my every word. 

Tall, eucalyptus trees like the ones that surrounded our home in California. 

I told the Lord that I wanted to get my heart completely right with Him. I began confessing and repenting of specific sins. (such as lying, disobedience, etc.) I had a deep sorrow in my heart for what I'd done, and I cried knowing it was my sin that separated me from God, and it was my sin that Jesus died for. I knew I'd sinned against a holy, righteous God, and I deserved God's punishment. I also knew there was absolutely nothing I could do to “erase” my sin in God’s sight. At that moment, I suddenly pictured Jesus dying on a cross for me! I felt God's love for me in a way I'd never felt before. By faith, I trusted in the blood of Christ, right then and there, to wash away all of my sin! I told the Lord, from that moment on, I wanted to keep my heart right with Him. I realized that was not going to be a “once and done” deal thing. I knew that walking with God, choosing to keep my heart right with Him and clean through the power of His blood, would be a daily choice.

I hesitated for a brief moment, pondering the large decision I was about to make. I decided that I didn't want "my own way" anymore. I wanted God's plan for my life instead. It would be so much better than anything I could ever choose! I told the Lord that my life now belonged to Him; I was gladly giving it to Him! I was willing to follow Him wherever He wanted me to go and do whatever He wanted me to do. I accepted Him that day as both my Savior and my Lord. 

A daisies like the ones that grew near our home in California. 

After praying, I remember walking back down to our home filled with such joy! I felt so free and so clear! I had peace with God. I'd been “born again”. God's Spirit now lived in me. I knew that I was God's child, and He was my heavenly Father Who would be with me at all times!

This is when I truly became a Christian. No one was with me that afternoon coaxing me or telling me what to pray or what to say or what to do. This was coming out of my own heart by the working of God's Spirit. My innocent, little prayer at 5 years old was only because I wanted to go to heaven and not to hell. 

But on that beautiful day back in 1994 at the age of 11 (approaching 12), I came to God on my own because I wanted a relationship with Him. What a huge difference this made in my life, and I truly became a new person! 

A short time later, I went to family members I had lied to or had done wrong to in the past, and I asked for their forgiveness. What a joy it was to be clear with others also! 

Bible verses and songs that I'd learned as a child became so alive and so real to me in a way they never had before! The words echoed my heart now! There were Bible verses that became very dear to me as I grew in my walk with the Lord. Some of those verses were:

“Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.”

1 John 4:13

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.”

1 John 1:7 

As a young Christian, the book of 1 John became my favorite book of the Bible, and to this day, it still is. Others verses that became very special to me were:

“Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory.”

1 Peter 1:8

“O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.”

Psalm 34:8

Psalm 34:8 has been my favorite Bible verse because I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good! 

This is my testimony. This is my story. I love Him because He first loved me. (1 John 4:19) 

Welcome To My Blog!

If you're visiting for the first time, welcome! If you followed me on my two previous blogs in the past, thanks for visiting me on this blog!

I plan to share glimpses of my life here as well as thoughts from my walk with God. I enjoying sharing, hence my reason for having a blog!

Since this is a new blog, I thought I'd begin by sharing a brief introduction about myself.

I am a single, 37 year old, Christian woman, and I come from a large family. I'm the oldest of 7 children; I'm blessed to have 6 siblings - 3 sisters and 3 brothers!

I was raised in a Christian home. Growing up, my family attended Baptist churches. As I got a little older, I attended some Anabaptist churches. Baptist and Anabaptist - they sound similar, and in some ways, they are. In other ways though, they are very different. I'll spare you those details.

Most importantly, I'm thankful I had parents who read Bible stories to me when I was growing up and taught me about God and His Word. God's Word is what matters most!

In the past 10 years, I've enjoyed learning more about the Hebrew culture of the Bible which I will share about from time to time on this blog. During the past 10 years, I've been blessed to visit the land of Israel, the land of the Bible, three times. I love the land of Israel so much! Something about being there in person brings the Bible to life in a special way.

I also love singing and music, especially harp music! As reflected in my subtitle for this blog, I am a harpist. I've played the harp for 20 years, ever since my parents purchased my first harp as a gift for me when I was 17 years old. I now own many lever harps and have been blessed to record 6 albums of harp music. I also teach harp and give lessons in person and online.

I suppose there is more I could share, but that is what future posts on this blog are for! Most of all, I desire to lift up the Lord Jesus Christ, Yeshua our Messiah. (His Hebrew name) I desire to share about His Word, His love, and His goodness!   

Psalm 16:11 says:

“Thou wilt shew me the path of life: in thy presence is fulness of joy; at thy right hand there are pleasures for evermore.”