The Value of a Soul

Last winter, I opened up a hope chest that I have had for nearly 20 years. My hope chest? 

It is just a large, navy blue tote. Actually, I have two, large, navy blue totes saved with things for my future home and children. 

One of them holds primarily kitchen items, and the other one holds things I have made for my children. That tote also includes many brand new or like new onesies I have found at thrift stores. 

I began saving things about 20 years ago, and I have slowly added things to them over the years. 

On that cold day in February of last year, I pulled out two baby blankets I crocheted many years ago. One was a solid light blue and the other a solid light pink. I wanted to give those two blankets to a dear friend who had a little girl and was expecting her second child, a little boy. 

That is the special part about having a hope chest. If you do not use something yourself, some things make special gifts for others. 

Sadly, my friend’s baby boy passed away a few months after he was born because of a genetic problem. I was still very happy to give two baby blankets to my friend. 

I still had two other baby blankets saved in my hope chest - another blue one and another pink one I crocheted a long time ago. 

I decided to replace the two blankets I gave away as gifts by crocheting two new baby blankets. While shopping for yarn, I decided on a cheery yellow color and a lovely green color. 

I enjoyed crocheting the yellow blanket last February on snowy, cozy days inside. When I was all finished with it, I shared a picture on Facebook and WhatsApp. The comments I got were kind. 

And I began thinking about children. And home. And family. Those things are designed by God. 

That led to a blog post I wrote and published last April (2025) titled: “A War On Home and Family” 

You can read that post here. 

The title alone says what the post was about. 

I see something the older I have gotten. The evil one does not like Godly homes and families, nor does he like them beginning. I see this clearly, and I decided to share my thoughts in a post.

Though I didn’t get many comments on that blog post, I did get a few, encouraging ones. 

And then I began thinking about gender roles and God’s beautiful design.  

I began sharing things about men being providers and women being keepers at home. Those have been traditional roles for men and women throughout the ages. Those are in God’s Word. 

Sadly, I did not get kind comments by sharing those things. Instead, very unkind comments began coming my way. I had to take down some things because I did not want to cause strife. 

I had no idea that sharing beautiful pictures of mothers holding their babies with verses about women having children and being keepers at home could generate such unkind words from others.

Are there things that happen in life where those roles sometimes get changed? Yes. 

Does the Lord understand and care? Absolutely. 

Does that mean the heart of God has changed in His designed roles for men and women? No. 

The heart of God is what we see in His Word. God does not change, nor does His Word. God’s ways are beautiful and perfect. 

Those unkind comments made me very sad, but I saw something more than unkind words. 

I saw people commenting out of their own pain and hurt. Broken hearts. Broken people. Sadly, even some bitter people. 

I care so much about others and what they have gone through. I care deeply about people who have suffered. And God cares - even more than I do.

But the truth of God’s Word still remains. 

I saw something more than personal pain though. I saw where values in our culture have gone.

What do I mean?

Allow me to share a little. 

Last August, I finished crocheting the green blanket I had gotten yarn for. Like I did with the yellow blanket when I was finished with it, I shared a picture on Facebook and WhatsApp. It is a joy for me to share things like that. 

Crocheting those two baby blankets last year, one in February and one in August, made me think back to when I was 19 or 20 years old. I remembered beautiful dreams I had then. 

At 19 years old, I was certain my dream would become a reality because my dream was in line with God’s Word. God gives His blessing on good, Godly desires. 

At 19 years old, I was young. I had plenty of time for my dream to become a reality. 

There is a phrase that says: 

“Dream Big”

And so, I did. 

As Christians, we are encouraged to “dream big” for God. 

And so, I did. 

What was my dream? 

I dreamed of being married to a kind, Godly, Christian man, and I dreamed of having nine children of my own. 

 

Why so many children?

I am the oldest of seven children. I am blessed to have three sisters and three brothers.

Sadly, my mom miscarried two little ones in her early pregnancy with them. 

So, in all reality, I am the oldest of nine children. 

I look forward to meeting those two siblings of mine in heaven someday over on heaven’s shore. 

Why did I dream of having nine children? 

My parents had nine children. I wanted the same. 

To my knowledge, I never shared my dream with anyone. For years, I kept my dream tucked safely inside my heart. Only God knew. 

But last year, I began to share that dream of mine. When I shared a picture of my finished, crocheted, baby blankets, I shared my dream of having nine children of my own. 

With my 43rd birthday approaching last year, numbers were on my mind. It had been 18 years since my 25th birthday. 

I couldn’t help but do some math. If I had been married, and if I had my first child around age 25, my oldest child would be around 18 years old now. If I had been married and had my first child at a younger age, my oldest child could be 20 now. 

Having 9 children, about 2 years in between each, would be about 18 years. This meant that, if I had my first baby by age 25, by age 43, I could have had the nine children I dreamed of having. 

I turned 43 years old in October last year. 

I dreamed of nine children, and I had none. 

I was grieving. Deeply. 

Do I care about others who grieve and hurt inside? You better believe it. I care so much about others. I will weep with those who weep. 

I shared my dream, openly, hoping for a word of encouragement, hoping someone might care.

Even something little would have meant so much to me. Simple, heartfelt words like these would have meant so much to me:

“I am so sorry you did not have the nine children you desired to have, Erin.” 

Did I get kind, caring words like that? 

No. Sadly not. 

Instead, negative words began coming about the number of children I dreamed of having. I was even rebuked by people who are very dear to me. 

Many of those comments came from friends who are married and with children. 

I was looking for comfort and encouragement. Instead, I got mean, unkind, and uncaring words. That made me grieve more than I already was. 

I forgave them. And I set my heart on God and His unchanging Word. 

Through my tears, God brought comfort to my heart. God specializes in that when we run to Him with our tears. 

If God healed my heart from those unkind words, why am I sharing this in a blog post?

I share this to give some context to this post. 

Through the unkind comments I got, I saw something more. I saw where values have gone. 

Allow me to share a little more here. 

You see, I am a harpist. I began playing the harp at age 17. My parents purchased a beautiful 31 string lever harp for my 17th birthday. It was a medium sized harp and the only harp I had for 4 years. 

At the age of 21, I purchased a larger harp. I had been working in a small grocery store for about a year when that harp was delivered to me. Later that year, I purchased a small harp to travel with. 

At the age of 22, five years after I began playing, I owned three harps: the medium harp my parents purchased, a large harp, and a small harp. 

The following year, I got another large harp. Then later, another small harp. Harps are beautiful instruments, and they are a joy to purchase. 

In my early 30’s, I owned a total of nine harps - three larger harps, three smaller harps, and three very small harps. I don’t own that many anymore, but at one point, I did. All those harps were well loved, well used, and played much for the Lord and for others. Those nine harps were all played on my six harp recordings. 

When I had nine harps, I would share that with others, particularly when I would play the harp at different events and sell my harp CD’s afterwards. 

Most of the comments I got were something like: 

“Wow, nine harps! That is a lot of harps!” 

Yes, and that is why I decided to sell many of them. I didn’t need that many harps anymore. 

To my knowledge, I don’t think anyone ever said anything negative about me owning nine harps.

I am happy I do not own nine harps anymore. Though I really enjoyed owning them, I never wanted nine harps. I wanted nine children. 

Nine harps? 

No negative comments from others.

Nine children? 

Many negative comments from others.

What did I see through that? 

Our culture has become very materialistic. Very. 

Material things have become more important than children. I see this so clearly in American culture. That includes Christians. And it breaks my heart. 

There is nothing wrong with owning things and enjoying them. Wealth is a blessing from God. 

 

But sadly, children have taken second place, or sometimes, they do not matter at all. Children do not matter as much to people anymore which I saw clearly when sharing about harps vs. children.

Some clarification here though, lest I am greatly misjudged like I was last year.  

Having nine children was my dream. I would never dream of pushing that on anyone else. 

This post is not about the number of children people choose to have. Whether you have two or ten children, that isn’t the heart behind this post. 

I write this post hoping people will realize how valuable human life is. Because honestly, I think American culture is forgetting that. 

If you are reading this post and are married with children, and if you desire to have more children but cannot for health or medical reasons. I care! 

This post was not written with you in mind. 

I know there are those who desire to have children and cannot have them. I care! 

This post was not written with you in mind. 

I write this post with our current American culture in mind, which sadly, includes many Christians. 

The unkind comments I got last year were almost shocking to me. All of them came from Christians. 

I got negative comments similar to this one:  

“Why would you want nine children?” 

One comment that intrigued me was my reason for desiring so many children.  

Throughout my teenage years, I don’t think I ever thought about how many children I wanted. To my knowledge, that never even entered my mind. 

But around the age of 19, I thought about it. 

Why did I desire to have so many children? 

I am “my father’s daughter”. In other words, I am very much like my Dad. 

My Dad valued and wanted many children, and God gave my Dad the children he desired to have. 

When I was teenage girl, living in California, my Dad used to say something to me and my siblings quite often. My Dad would say:

“You children mean far more to me than any material thing.

I knew my Dad meant those words. At one point, he said those words to us quite often. 

My desire to have many children? 

I am like my Dad in that way. I view children the way that my Dad did. I grew up hearing how incredibly valuable we were to my Dad. I hold the same views that my Dad does about human life. 

Was I blessed by Godly families I have known and looked up to over the years? 

Most definitely. 

But my desire to have many children? 

That desire ultimately came from the Lord; the Lord put that desire in my heart. My Dad also planted that desire in me in a sweet way. 

I was loved, cherished, and treasured by my Dad as a young girl. I never had to do anything to earn my Dad’s love. My Dad loved me simply because I was his daughter. 

Whether my Dad realized it or not, my Dad mirrored God’s love to me as a child. 

I have been working on writing this post for a little while. I waited until close to Father’s Day to publish this as a small tribute to my Dad. 

Although he is older now at 73 years old, my Dad is still alive, and I wanted to honor him here. 

The older I have gotten, I have come to realize what a truly amazing man my father is, in more ways than one. I am so grateful for my Dad and love him so much. 

The value of a soul? 

The worth and value of every human being comes at the moment of our existence. 

My worth and value does not come from anything that I do or that I have. 

My worth and value came the moment I began forming in my mother’s womb. 

The same is true of every person reading this.

Your worth and value does not come from anything you do, anything you don’t do, or anything that you have. 

Your worth came from God the moment you were formed inside your mother. 

Our worth and value does not come from our marital status or the number of children we have. Those things are enormous blessings from God, but they do not define our worth. 

Our worth and value comes from God alone. 

God sent His own Son into the world to die and shed His blood for all mankind. 

The greatest thing on earth is human life. There is nothing greater.  

Like my Dad was with me as a child, I desired to love my children, unconditionally, and to point them to our Father in heaven. 

I wanted to love and raise many children for the Lord. I wanted to have children who would make a difference in this world in the lives of others, to point others to our Father in heaven. 

The value of a soul? 

Every soul is priceless. We are made in the very image of God. 

That is why I desired to have so many children. 

At 43 years old, my hope chests are still filled with new things in the hopes of that becoming a reality someday. I am approaching my mid 40’s. I am old enough now to be a young Grandma. I don’t know how many children I can have at my age, but with God, all things are possible. If I could have them, I would still desire to give birth to nine children. Nearly 25 years later, my desire has not changed. 

I am so thankful for a Father who values life, like our Heavenly Father Who values life above all. 

All life comes from Him. 

“All things were made by him; and without him was not any thing made that was made. In him was life; and the life was the light of men.”

John 1:3-4