My Personal Testimony

Recently, I was thinking, what better thing to share on my blog than my personal testimony? 

One of the best ways to get to know someone is to share your testimony with them.

Simply put, this is my story of how I came to know God in a personal way. Or better put, this is how God lovingly drew me to Himself. 

It’s one thing to know about God. It’s another thing to know God in a personal way.

In sharing my testimony, I’ll fill in some details about my childhood because there were many things that led to it.

I was born in Michigan in October of 1982 to my parents, Tom and Cheryl Cross. They named me Erin Lynn. I’m the oldest of seven children, and I feel blessed to come from a large family with so many siblings. 

As a child, I was loved by my parents and taught about God. As a young girl, my Mom spent a lot of time with my sister Cheri and I. She would sing songs with us about the Lord throughout the day. She would sing with us while riding in the car, while taking walks, while at home, and especially before going to bed at night. My Mom would also read Bible stories to us and pray with us before going to bed each night. My Mom also helped us to memorize Bible verses. By doing those things with us, my Mom planted something precious in us. 

I was taught to obey my parents as a child, and when I disobeyed them, I was disciplined for it. 

My 5th birthday - October 1987

When I was growing up, my family attended Baptist churches. One Sunday evening, when I was around 5 years old, my Mom read a Bible story to me from Sunday School that day. It was the story of Nicodemus who came to Jesus by night. I thought it was a nice story, but that was about it. 

After reading that story to me, my Mom asked me if I would like to “invite Jesus into my heart” so I could go to heaven someday to live with Him forever. I said “yes” that I would like to do that. So my mom prayed a short, simple prayer with me that night in our living room. After that, my mom told me that I had “accepted Jesus” as my Savior, and I didn’t need to do that ever again. She said I was now “saved” no matter what. As a child, I believed everything my parents told me. So from that time on, I was happy that I was “saved”. 

That is not my testimony. 

Because I was so young at that age, I did not fully understand everything. The only thing I knew was that I wanted to go to heaven and not to hell. That is just common sense, right?

When I reached the age to begin school, my parents decided to homeschool me. My mom taught me how to read, write, spell, and do basic math. She was a very good teacher. I was homeschooled for Kindergarten and 1^st grade, and then I attended a public school for 2^nd and 3^rd grade near our home in Michigan. 

In August of 1992, we moved to Santa Barbara, California. My Dad was a Pilot for United Airlines, and he received a job transfer. My parents were not impressed with the public schools in California so they decided to homeschool again. I began 4^th grade in the fall of 1992, and I turned 10 years old that October.

My parents decided to use the “Abeka” school curriculum for us. Along with our school books, we used something called the Abeka Home School Video Program. This meant we had a teacher who taught our school lessons every day in a real classroom which had been taped on video. Even though we did school at home, it felt like we were in a real school classroom. I enjoyed doing this for school, and I especially enjoyed my first subject every day which was Bible. In my Bible class, the teacher usually began with prayer, sang some songs with us, helped us to memorize Scripture, and shared a lesson from a Bible story.

For 4^th and 5^th grade, I had a video teacher named Mr. Bowman who taught most of my subjects, including Bible. He was one of my favorite school teachers.

One morning, at the age of 11 and in 5^th grade, my teacher, Mr. Bowman, taught in our Bible class that sin separates us from God. He used an illustration on his picture board to demonstrate this. He showed a picture of two very large cliffs with a large gap in between those two cliffs. He used this picture to show us that man was on one side, and God was on the other side. He showed us there was absolutely no way man could get to God on the other side on his own. The gap was just far “too wide” because of our sin. Then he showed us a picture of a cross laid from one side of the cliff to the other side. He proceeded to share that this was the only way man could get over to God. This was only made possible through what God’s Son did in dying for us. Our teacher shared that the only thing that could wash away sin in God’s sight was the blood of Jesus. Those were things I knew very well since I’d been taught those things as a child.

However, my school teacher went on to share that if we had sin in our heart when we prayed, the Lord would not hear us. 

He shared Psalm 66:18 which says:

“If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me.”

The Holy Spirit used what my school teacher said, and those words went straight to my heart. 

For the first time in my life, I was convicted of my sin. I saw myself as the sinner I was. I saw that my sin was separating me from talking to God.

Ever since I was a young girl, I loved it when my mom prayed with me at night before going to sleep. I remember when she would come in to say “good night”. I would ask her to pray with me if she had not already done so. I enjoyed praying with her, and when I realized that the Lord didn’t hear me because of my sin, I was really troubled.

I slowly began confessing my sin to the Lord and agreeing with Him that I had done wrong. I knew that things I had done wrong as a child, as well as things I was doing then, was sin to God. My school teacher told us many times in our Bible class that it was very important to keep our heart right with the Lord by confessing and repenting to God when we sinned.

I did this for about 3 months, and the Holy Spirit continued to work in my heart. The more I confessed to the Lord, the more sin God showed me in my life. I had a very bad habit of lying when I had disobeyed my parents or had done something I did not want anyone to know about. I remember my school teacher telling us one day in Bible class that Satan was the “father of lies”. I was so alarmed! I did not want to be like Satan. I wanted to be like Jesus. So, I confessed my sin of lying to the Lord, and I asked the Lord to help me. After confessing that, I remember thinking: 

“I want to be right with the Lord about everything!”

I decided I was going to confess every sin I could think of that I had ever done. I will never forget that day. 

I went outside late one afternoon all alone and stood at the top of a hill that was behind our backyard. At the top of the hill was a large, church parking lot which overlooked much of the town of Santa Barbara. It was a beautiful day, and it was quiet when I went up there to talk with the Lord. Tall, eucalyptus trees swayed gently above me with aloe plants growing low to the ground. White and purple daisies were in bloom, and an avocado orchard graced the bottom of another hill slope near by. I remember it all so vividly, and I remember looking up into the sky as I talked with the Lord, believing He was right there listening to my every word. 

Tall, eucalyptus trees like the ones that surrounded our home in California. 

I told the Lord that I wanted to get my heart right with Him. I began confessing and repenting of specific sins. (such as lying, disobedience, etc.) I had a deep sorrow for what I had done, and I cried knowing that it was my sin that separated me from God, and it was my sin that Jesus died for. I knew I had sinned against a holy, righteous God, and I deserved God’s punishment. I also knew there was absolutely nothing I could do to “erase” my sin in God’s sight. At that moment, I suddenly pictured Jesus dying on a cross for me! I felt God’s love for me in a way I had never felt before. By faith, I trusted in the blood of Christ, right then and there, to wash away all of my sin. I told the Lord, from that moment on, I wanted to keep my heart right with Him. I realized this was not a “once and done” type thing. I knew that walking with God, keeping my heart right with Him, clean through His cleansing blood, would be a daily choice.

I hesitated for a brief moment, pondering the large decision I was about to make. I decided that I did not want “my own way” anymore. I wanted God’s plan for my life instead. It would be so much better than anything I could ever choose. I told the Lord that my life now belonged to Him; I was gladly giving my life to Him. I was willing to follow the Lord wherever He wanted me to go and do whatever He wanted me to do. I accepted Him that day as my Savior and my Lord. 

A daisies like the ones that grew near our home in California. 

After praying, I remember walking back down to our home filled with such joy! I felt so free and so clear! I had peace with God. I had been “born again”. God’s Spirit now lived in me. I knew that I was God’s child, and He was my heavenly Father Who would be with me at all times.

This is when I truly became a Christian. No one was with me that afternoon telling me what to pray or what to say. This was coming out of my own heart by the working of God’s Spirit. My little prayer at 5 years old was only because I wanted to go to heaven and not to hell. 

But on that beautiful day in 1994 at the age of 11 (almost 12), I came to God on my own because I wanted a relationship with Him. What a huge difference this made in my life, and I truly became a new person. 

A short time later, I went to family members I had lied to or had done wrong to in the past, and I asked for their forgiveness. What a joy it was to be clear with others also! 

Bible verses and songs that I had learned as a child became so alive and so real to me in a way they never had before! The words echoed my heart! There were Bible verses that became very dear to me as I grew in my walk with the Lord. Some of those verses were:

“Hereby know we that we dwell in him, and he in us, because he hath given us of his Spirit.”

1 John 4:13

“But if we walk in the light, as he is in the light, we have fellowship one with another, and the blood of Jesus Christ his Son cleanseth us from all sin.”

1 John 1:7 

As a young Christian, the book of 1 John became my favorite book of the Bible, and to this day, it still is. Others verses that became very special to me were:

“Whom having not seen, ye love; in whom, though now ye see him not, yet believing, ye rejoice with joy unspeakable and full of glory.”

1 Peter 1:8

“O taste and see that the Lord is good: blessed is the man that trusteth in him.”

Psalm 34:8

Psalm 34:8 has been my favorite Bible verse because I have tasted and seen that the Lord is good. 

This is my testimony. This is my story. I love Him because He first loved me. (1 John 4:19)